Master Me
by Green1
Summary: Murata x Wolfram; Yuuri comes back after a long absence and brings some startling news with him. Luckily Murata is there to help Wolfram after having been given the news.


Master Me

by Green

disclaimer: of course I don't own KKM. Duh.  
Couple: Murata x Wolfram

note: This story is the edited version of 'Master Me', which I wrote more for the smex then the story. There is a bit of story here so if you're underage or don't like to read sex, I hope you enjoy it. The "stronger" version is located on . You can get to that version via my profile. It's it seems a little jumpy, it's because I just cut out a lot of bad sex. Feel fortunate you were spared. xD

This is unbeta'ed. My beta is busy with 'Long Nights' and I didn't want to bother for a whim project like this. I tried to catch everything though and am sorry for the crappy grammar and spelling. D:

Chapter 1: Hold Me

"I saw you looking at me Wolfram," said a husky voice against my ear. He nipped at my ear once, sending a small spark of pleasure.

I drew in a deep, surprised breath and my hand flew to cover my ear. I hadn't heard anyone come up behind me, something that hadn't happened since I started soldiering. It rattled my nerves beyond what I'd been thinking of. "Murata," I growled, low in my throat. "What the hell do you mean?"

The thing was, I was on the second floor landing looking out a window that peered at the courtyard below. This didn't leave me much room to jump back and unsheathing my sword would be awkward.

"In the fountain," he chuckled. "I saw you staring at me. Did you enjoy it?"

A blush spread over my pale face. I hated when I blushed but I was too pale and it seemed like everything brought a blush to my cheeks. It made me look ugly, angry even, when I wasn't. I knew what he was talking about though. Yuuri had come back after a long, three month absence with Murata in tow. They'd popped up like daises in the fountain behind the castle. It was in a little used section of the gardens where the summer lilies bloomed at night.

I'd wanted to show Yuuri those flowers one night, to sneak out like thieves for a midnight picnic and enjoy some romantic time alone, but Yuuri had hated the idea and then had left. Originally, they were supposed to be back within the week but managed to say away for a whooping three months. He'd said it was an accident, that he still wasn't used to the time changes. I believed him, but a part of me was still hurt. It stung. I pushed it away. Love is a responsibility. I can't let my whims and momentary displeasures ruin the life I wanted to build with him.

Murata had come with bags and bags of clothing and other things. He hadn't been in the mood to disclose all he'd brought with him, only said that he was coming to live the rest of his life in Shin Makoku and had brought what he needed. He'd arrived wearing not the normal black uniform I'd become accustomed to seeing but a skin tight shirt, the material too thin for the approaching winter. It clung to him like a second skin, giving me ample opportunity to see the muscles under neither. His nipples were taunt and he wasn't wearing any glasses. I could see how smoky his eyes were, framed by a forest of dark lashes.

My mouth went dry at the sight of him and I had to tear my gaze back to my fianc . When had Murata gotten so damn sexy and why was it affecting me? I licked my lips, trying to focus on Yuuri. My fianc was a normal, everyday sight in his baggy black uniform. Yuuri was my --

Teeth scrapped against the lobe of my ear again. Murata was so close I could feel his body heat and smell the strong soap he used. I jumped again like a scared rabbit and backed into him.

My free hand flew to cover my mouth but another moan escaped. Oh Shinou, what is going on? I don't act like this.

Murata stopped all his ministrations so abruptly that it made the breath leave my body. He let go and stepped away from me, head turned away from me. I reached out to the wall for support and stared at him, eyes the size of saucers I'm certain. My legs couldn't support my weight and I folded down onto the floor.

Voices traveled from the far end of the hall and I turned my head in the direction he was looking. Two maids came out of a far room, holding large piles of clothes and chatting cheerfully to each other. They didn't seem to notice us and turned in the opposite direction.

He knelt and lifted my chin with a hand. I glared at him, breath still heaving and mind reeling. I should kick his ass, I thought, but my body felt too tense and too slack to attack. A fine sheen of sweat covered my brow. I cut my eyes away.

"Come to my room tonight," he said. He studies me for a moment longer before straightening and leaving me a puddle there on the floor.

I watched him until he disappeared around the corner. A terrible trembling overtook me. My body felt alive, on fire. Even the fabric of the shirt rubbing against my nipples made my breath hitch. I folded my arms across my chest trying to make it stop. What was wrong with me? I let him do that to me. I was acting like a whore.

Sure, Murata was handsome but he'd never made me feel this way before nor had he ever made any advances towards me. He'd never made any advance towards a man. He was as straight as the clich arrow. He didn't do this.

I chewed on my bottom lip. My heart still beat hard in my chest. 'What is wrong with you, Wolfram? You've been kissed before, groped before. Hell, you've been sleeping with Yuuri for years now. That was nothing!'

It hadn't been the same and I knew it. And Yuuri hardly knew I was there. I could hardly use that as an example of desire.

Stupid! Stupid! I picked myself off the floor and dusted myself off. I would NOT sleep him. I would ignore him, I decided as I walked to the dinning room. Lunch would be served soon. Yuuri would worry ...

--8--8--

Yuuri didn't seem worried that I was late. In face, he didn't even noticed I'd come in. That was okay. I was used to it. He was in an animated conversation with Lord Weller, the topic of which I couldn't hear as I stood in the arched doorway. I just stared at him, soaking up his handsome profile and know he was mine. The feeling made me happy.

Murata was seated at the round dinner table, back turned from me as he talked with Gwendal. I paused for a moment and considered running away. That would make my family wonder and how could I explain the situation? I wondered where all my marvelous resolve had gone.

I took another moment to gather myself before walking into the room. I saw him shift ever so slightly at my entrance and I swore I could feel his smoldering eyes on me, though when I looked, he had his face turned towards my older brother. I dropped my eyes from his back and took my place beside Yuuri.

"Where are your glasses, Geika?" Greta asked, kicking her legs as she sat.

Her voice startled me. I hadn't even seen her. What kind of a parent was I? But instead of paying her any attention, I found myself turning to look at Murata, my eyes eating him up.

"I have them back in my room. I thought I'd try wearing contacts," he explained, buttering a roll and then handing it to her. Without his glasses, his whole face seemed to open up and I was forced to see how handsome he was. His hair feathered about his brow, making his eyes look a lot larger. He picked up another and gestured to me. "Want one?" he asked with one side of his mouth curved up.

I stared at his fingers. Murata had very long, graceful fingers and they made me feel funny. My mouth went dry again and I had to tear my gaze from him. I felt the blush creep up across my features. There was nothing to do about that. "No thanks," I said stiffly. "I can butter my own."

"Oh but," Murata said, a full, lazy smile spreading over his face. "I enjoy buttering yours. It's entirely my pleasure" He held it out to me and I had to take it. What would everyone say if I didn't take it?

Our hands touched when he passed me the roll and a shiver of pleasure went through me. I jumped and almost dropped the roll.

"Are you okay?" Yuuri asked, only half turned towards me.

I couldn't look at him so I turned my attention to my plate. It was the first thing Yuuri had said to me specifically since he got back (well, besides the general meet and greets.) It made me feel warm inside. "I'm okay," I said. "I just stood and almost tripped." I winced at how stupid that sounded but the King took the explanation with a nod and turned back to Weller.

My hand came down on Greta's kicking legs and I gave her the look. She smiled at me, innocent, and I felt worse than I had before. Oh Shinou, I'd cheated on her father.

Lunch ended too soon and I hadn't the stomach to eat under the smoky glances the Great Sage shot me. By the end of an hour, I was climbing up the walls for being so hungry. Damn that lecher! This was all Murata's fault. I didn't even have the peace of mind to concentrate on my daughter or fianc .

My mind was caught on all the possible reasons he was coming after me and what I could do about it. I couldn't tell Yuuri or my family. None would believe me. Everyone knows how Murata chases skirts. I find it a miracle that he doesn't have fifty bastard children running about him. He probably slept with a different woman each night.

I felt guilty at that thought but pushed it away. The truth was that he had never made any move towards a man and the soldiers about him never made any move onto him, which was perhaps the strangest thing of all. Why would he...

I stood and left training yard. This train of thought had done me no good. It had only served to muddle my mind and I was incredibly hungry. The kitchen women weren't sympathetic to my plight. Even when I said I'd been sick and unable to eat my lunch. They threw me out, waving large wooden spoons and calling me names. I swear I heard a muffled laugh amongst them as well.

As if my route, my mind when back to Murata. He probably could've talked them into giving me some food. He could probably sweet talk a stone into giving him water.

I decided to search for Yuuri. He's presence always had a calming affect on me (though he didn't believe me when I told him.) I looked in all his normal haunts, the large and small library, his study, our room, Greta's suite of rooms, before I decided to look outside. Autumn was fleeing too fast this year and the wind blew cold through the bare tree's. I had a thicker jacket upstairs but didn't want to grab it.

He wasn't outside either. Neither in the training yard nor in the make shift baseball field. I searched the stables and made a cursory search of the gardens as well. Nothing.

I shifted my attention to finding my daughter and had no luck either.

It was just after four, about two hours left until dinner. I pressed my hand against my growling stomach. I hadn't been thinking of it but found myself at the smaller library door. This had been the room Gunter chose to teach Yuuri his lessons. Being within its walls made me feel more comfortable. I was missing him like crazy.

I paused at the door as my stomach ripped another loud growl of protest. Maybe I could brave the spoons once more. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and shut the door behind me. Nah, that's the last lecture I need from my big brother.

An amused chuckle had my body stiffening. "Hungry?"

I glared at him.

He held up his hands in a peace offering. "I'm here just to read," he said, lifting the book on his lap. "Unless you want to do something else?" His lashes fluttered down and back up, taking my whole person in.

I stared for a moment too long. I had every right to be here and Murata hadn't even been here when I'd come in earlier. This was the place Yuuri and I studied... Okay, this was the place Yuuri studied and I hovered to make sure Gunter didn't try to jump him. Same difference to me. The point is that I shouldn't have to be afraid of him.

So, to prove I wasn't afraid, I walked into the room and kept to the edges. Pathetic, you might think. I don't care. My small bit of courage was to turn my back to him as I browsed (I resisted the urge to look over my shoulder.) I pressed my eyes shut, realizing just how stupid I was. He must think I'm ridiculous. The irrational feeling grew so much that I no longer saw the books in front of me.

I blindly reached for one, pulling it off the shelve and stalked over to the door. The brass knob was cool on my palm when I stopped, book clutched tight to my chest as if to protect me, and said, "I am not going to your room tonight, you pervert!" With that, I escaped and pretended I didn't hear the laughter that trailed after me.

In the end, I spent the almost two hours leading up to dinner in my old room. It was tiny compared to Yuuri's, but clean non-the-less. It also held all my childhood treasures, everything that wasn't proper to bring into Yuuri's vast room. I never felt comfortable in Yuuri's room when he wasn't around, it was too large and empty. I felt like a wayward soldier lost in a desert of fine blankets. And now that winter was upon them, this small room heated faster by the fireplace and stayed hot longer, making it so much more cozy.

The book, an travel log of Tamsin the Bard, proved to be interesting as well. He lived about two thousand years ago and his gift for air magic allowed him to make the most wonderful music. This was back before the human lands forgot the old ways and still had some communion with the elementals. He wrote about all the strange human customs. More than once I wondered if any of these tails were even true.

Dinner came right as I was reading about the bare chested women of Lucitial country. I'd never heard of that country before so I'm assuming it's dead by now. The women had an uprising and it was proclaimed that if men could wake around naked to the waist, so can women. It was apparently quite common by the time Tamsin arrived. He mentions how weird it was to see women fully clothed. I chuckled as I set the book aside and went over to my wash table.

I stared at myself in the mirror, wishing to see something -- maybe someone -- different. Much talk was made about my white blond hair and green eyes but in the end, Yuuri still wasn't attracted to me. Save for Elizabeth, no one had really shown a lasting interest in me. I sighed. It was stupid to think about and I knew it. I had so much that other people didn't. I can't complain about my life.

I sighed again and pulled my shirt down, as if that could remove the wrinkles of laying about on my bed for two hours. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked closer at my face to make sure I had no blemishes.

Stupid Wolfram, get a move on. I was nervous about not seeing Yuuri for so long. Part of me wanted to fly down the hall to find him but another part wondered why I hadn't seen him or Greta all day. Stupid, stupid me, I thought again and forced myself into motion.

I was almost breathless when I reached the dinning room but Yuuri hadn't arrived yet. I smiled. At least that was in my favor. I took my place and shook my napkin open, spreading it across my lap. The butterflies still fluttered in my belly, but I could ignore them.

Murata was seated across from me, talking quietly with Lord Weller about the new troupes from the south he was going to train. He glanced up at my arrival but his gaze had lost a bit of its heat. That made me wonder. Neither Greta or my older brother had arrived yet. That gave me a great pause and deeper foreboding.

I was wondering if I could excuse myself from the room when Yuuri came in, Gwendal in tow. My older brother's brows were furrowed in a look of deep thought. My eyes slid over him and rested on my fianc . My heart beat painfully in my chest and I felt faint. He wouldn't look at me and he was carrying a folded letter in both hands. All the sudden, I understood why Greta wasn't here. I understood why I hadn't seen Greta all afternoon. He'd probably talked to her first.

My gaze fell to the empty china plate. I couldn't leave, couldn't run away, because I knew the moment I stood, I would pass out. He stopped before me and I couldn't look at him. He talked about how he loved me as a friend and he wanted me to remain at his side, how he needed my support for this country and friendship sake, and how Greta needed me. I can still feel the intense stares the others gave me as I heard all this.

At the end, he handed me the letter. I broke the seal with my thumb, uncaring that I'd ripped the fine muslin paper. As I thought, the letter was formal in nature, an official breaking of the engagement. Not a hint of caring for all the years I'd given him or any sign of the love I'd wished for so long.

My eyes fluttered down.

"I'm getting a room prepared," he was saying as I folded up the damnable missive. I set the letter on my plate and looked at him. He avoided my eyes, the coward.

"I have a room," I said in the coldest voice I could manage. "I'll move the rest of my things after dinner."

Yuuri looked at me for a moment, still not meeting my eyes. He looked stricken, as if my tone had been a punch to his gut. Well, I didn't care. I ground my teeth together and decided I would leave Blood Pledge. I'd leave Yuuri and my brothers and all the horrible years I spent here behind me and start anew. I'd be damned if I watched him court some stupid Lady.

He must've read my expression because his following words stung me worse than breaking the engagement had. "You will take over Conrad s position, Wolfram," he said softly. "Conrad needs to focus on training the new soldiers. He can't be following me around."

Color stained my cheeks. Humiliation heaped upon humiliation. So now I was demoted to a lower position than that ... that half breed? I stood suddenly, palms flat on the dinning table. Everyone jumped and Yuuri took a step back as if I would attack him right there. I saw the furtive glances he sent the silver wear but chose to ignore it. I drew in a long, deep breath and waited for the rage to over take me. Only, it didn't. I wasn't shaking and I found I could stand without feeling like passing out.

Instead of all the normal emotions, I felt a certain hollowness and a reinforcement of long held believes: if I just waited long enough, everyone left me in the end. I was never good enough to be loved. Never enough of anything to make people stay. I stared at the lacework table cloth before turning cold eyes onto my ex-fianc .

"I'll go get my things. May I be excused Heika?"

---8---8---

"You knew, didn't you?" I pushed my way into Murata's room without must resistance. The door shut with a click behind me. I felt stupid being here but I had to be certain. I'd just spent the last hour boxing up my few personal affects and carrying them down to my room. Yuuri had tried to help but I stopped him. Then he'd tried to send someone to help and I just about murdered them both. Great start to my new career.

It was a lot easier to think about the reason behind Murata's sudden attack of lust than to think of why Yuuri had dumped me. And if he'd known -- and not told me before hand -- I was going to kill him.

Murata regarded my murderous stare for a long moment before turning his back to me and walking further into his apartments. Of course I followed him in.

His suite of rooms smelled like old books and the small fire that burned in the fireplace. His rooms, all together, were almost as large as Yuuri's but had been divided into rooms. The bedroom was the largest but there were also two other rooms, one used for a library-slash-study and the other for a sitting room. The sitting room looked like it was just an extension of the library.

"I didn't know," he said at the entrance of his bedroom. He paused. "Do you want a drink?"

"Liar," I shot out at his back. "I know he tells you everything. You're his best friends." I said that last bit with a lot of resentment.

He turned to peer at me thoughtfully. He walked over to his king-sized bed and sat at the edge. "What do you want me to say?"

I followed him into the room, staring at the spot on the bed he now patted. My lips pursed. I thought of the time earlier today and how stupid it was to be alone in here with him but... I didn't know. I sighed, trying to keep that weariness to myself. Getting through the act of moving my stuff had worked because I had a purpose, but could I get through a night alone, knowing Yuuri was sleeping in the castle?

I wasn't sure if I could. Murata seemed the lesser of the two evils.

I folded my arms across my chest. "I want the truth," I said with a obstinate tilt of my chin.

He patted the spot next to him. I could see in his eyes that he wouldn't talk until I moved next to him. With an overblown sigh, I sat down as far away from him as I could and still be next to him. He moved over, the bed dipping under his weight. I sat so rigid and unstable on my perch that when the bed shifted, I fell against him. His arm came around my shoulder to keep there.

"You don't want the truth," Murata told me. "You want me to say I knew and I planned this whole thing."

I glared at him. He wouldn't let me pull out of his embrace and I was afraid my cheeks would stain that awful red they so loved to color. I opened my mouth to protest this unjust accusation but he cut me off,

"I knew he wanted to break the engagement." He laughed as I went rigid in his embrace. "Wait, before you kill me, let me finish. He's been telling me that for years. Each time we go to Earth together, he declares he's going to break the engagement." He sighed and let me go to run his hands through his hair. "I thought he was just talking hot air. The only advice I told him was to tell you first before making the announcement. I'm guessing he didn't?"

I shook my head and bit at my trembling bottom lip. I didn't want him to see how much it affected me. He had to know but I didn't have to be an open book about it.

His hands came up to rub small circles onto my lower back and I leaned into the first physical contact I'd had for a long time (I was blissfully forgetting the days earlier events.) I pushed out my bottom lip and said, "The weird thing is... I don't feel anything." My hands twisted in the hem of my shirt and I looked at him. One of his hands moved up to rub the base of my neck. "Is that normal? Maybe I've been expecting this for a long time."

"I think you're in shock," he murmured, much to close to my ear then was proper. The gentle messaging motions of his hands warmed me in a way I hadn't been for such a long time. Not since... well, needless to say, I didn't want to stop this. I knew I had to, but my whole body yearned for the warmth he was creating.

I stared down at my hands. "I don't know." I licked my lips, wincing as I tasted blood. "I feel like a horrible person. I should be throwing things or crying or doing something about it all. I should be making Yuuri give me back my life. I feel mute and helpless." I let out a bitter laugh. "I can't even call him Yuuri anymore, can I?"

"Hm," he said and I was suddenly happy that he wasn't offering annoying platitudes. I would've kicked his ass if he said something like, 'at least it's over' or 'now you can move on with your life'. How was that supposed to make me feel any better? It was a kick to my chest when I was already down on the ground. I wanted to move my life forward with Yuuri. I wanted to love Yuuri and be by his side as his equal. Not be some stupid guard that he could so easily not see.

He turned my head with two fingers and kissed me. It was a light, probing kiss. A tasting, testing kind of kiss. His tongue bathed my lower lip and peeked inside my mouth, as if seeking entrance. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, tenderly tugging at it as if he could heal the wounds I'd created. The feeling was startling and I gasped. He used the opportunely to delve deep into my mouth, running his tongue along my teeth. When our tongues finally touched, an explosion of pleasure burst within.

I pulled back, forcibly and gulped at the air. My face couldn't have gotten any redder. Oh, how embarrassing that is. "What are you doing?" I whispered a bit stupidly. No one had ever done that to me before.

He cocked a brow and smiled. "A kiss, Wolf. Just a simple kiss." Somehow, the pet name sounded dangerous on his wicked lips. I thought I might melt just hearing him say my name.

I was dreaming again. I always know when I'm dreaming, it's like a sixth sense or something. The trick isn't in the knowing but in how to escape the dream. That is something I've never been able to do. I see my mother, beautiful in a long black dress. Her hair is up and a warm wind ruffles through it. She lifts me up by my armpits and sets me on the carriage. I'm being sent away again, as she does every time I close my eyes to sleep.

My eyes snap open just as I see the last of her and I drew in an involuntary breath. I had no idea where I was. The quilt pulled up to my waist was unfamiliar and so was the peculiar smell of old books that surrounded me. I blinked, tired, and tried to remember when the events of the day hit me over the head. I turned my head up to find Murata's black eyes starting down at him. He had an expression of ... what? I wasn't certain. I'd never seen it before but it made my heart beat hard in my chest.

His fingers brushed my face. "Bad dream?" he asked, setting a book I hadn't even noticed on the bedside table. "Want to tell me about it?"

No one had ever asked me to tell them my dream. Not Yuuri, in all the long years we'd shared a bed. No one had cared enough. I wet my lips. Yuuri, oh Shinou. I remembered his speech to me. How easy it must have been to dump me. Tears filled my eyes, the heavy weight of my dream making it harder to come up for air.

Oh Shinou, how he hated me. I couldn't think of what I had done. I was only vaguely aware of Murata's arms going around me as I started to tremble. I put my hands over my eyes as if that would stop the tears. I wouldn't cry. I never cried. My heart would break before I cried, I told myself, and yet my tears leaked out and sobs filled my mouth.

"Why does everyone leave me? What did I do? Am I such a horrible person?"

He said nothing, just kissed my brow, my hair, the tears that leaked between my hands, and held me until I felt into blessed oblivion.

---8---8---

TBC~

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